YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
