we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
