It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I had your ass I would rule the world
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
