dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
