Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
