Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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