WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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