i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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