is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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