At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
