Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
