Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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