I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
