"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
