If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
