you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
