we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
