I think my vagina is haunted
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
