I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
