I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
