is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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