have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
