i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
