i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
