She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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