My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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