xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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