I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
