I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
whose ass print is on the piano?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
