normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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