you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize