Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
