pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
