the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
