so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What drink are we having for lunch?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
