I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
