I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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