Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
