somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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