Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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