Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize