i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
