oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
