Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
