I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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