yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
