remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
