Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize