her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
