Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
