I'm going to jail i love you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
