His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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