I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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