she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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