I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
